Dear Friend,
I remember those days when my uncles used to come home from overseas. They were like gods. We look at them with deep awe as if they are not part of us. Then, we the younger ones, took the pain of broadcasting their arrivals to our friends and neighbours as if our uncles are bigger than the heavens.
It was fun then, with those tiny gifts, the dollar notes that they tuck in our palm. Every child those days pray to be like them. Nothing else mattered except our dreams of going to ‘Ame’ as they used to call America in our community.
Gradually, our fairy dreams of ‘Ame’ faded and melt off like vapour, not just because we are grownups but because soon we noticed three mothers of these our angelic-uncles now engaged in weeping as well as sending enormous curses to their sons who seemed it fit to neglect their mothers, never bother to contact Nigeria anymore.
I thought this was happening in my own world until I discovered here that many African prefer to do away with the idea of contacting their parents back home. Most of them give excuses that if you are not careful, you also will believe them and before you know it, you are applying the same method to your own family.
The question is; has Europe, UK, America, or wherever you are brainwashed you that now all you think of is neglecting your own parents or family members in Africa?
I have friends like me who don’t mind emptying their bank account and give all to our parents and siblings back home without any remorse. And as the same time, I knew some Africans here who don’t give a damn if their parents or siblings survive or not.
Is this fair?
Majority of people who engage in this are usually ready with excuses that they their white spouses will not permit them to withdraw money from their joint account and send to Africa! Imagine that!
Most of them complain their parents and siblings disturb them by asking for too much. Tell me, who else will they disturb if not you?
My husband has never prevented me from taking care of my family back home in Africa. In fact, he encourages me. That he is white does not mean he should make me neglect my parents. Most of my friends too are married to whites and they have never neglected their parents.
When these African men and women were still in Africa, they were catered for by their parents, their siblings and family members. Those times, they had no idea of ever dreaming of meeting their white spouses.
Today, my uncles are prodigal sons, forgotten and abandoned as they have chosen their white spouses and America above their own African family members.
You may be in such position or you are about to, I implore you, DO NOT NEGLECTS your parents. Never refuse to help your siblings. They all need you. By being wicked to them just means you are self-handled reducing your destiny.
Of course, I agree with you if you try to avoid some distant relatives who were never there when you are nothing but just show up now. You have the right to avoid those ones if you like. Trust me, most of them deserve that.
But when it comes to your close relatives, especially your parents, and your siblings, please do all it takes to make them happy. They are with you from day one as family, they are with you while you were a child, and they are with you through thick and thin, until chances and destiny take you higher than them. It is not now that you should decide to abandon them.
Do not let your white spouse determine for you how you should cater for your family back home. A time will come; I repeat that a time will come that you will have no one to fall back to except these lovely people back in Africa.
You have the privileges to be overseas, to be successful, and to be where you are today not because of your own will but because God wants you to be tremendous blessings for your parents, and your siblings.
Please, never, never, and never neglect them.
Cheers!
Princess Ayelotan
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